Support Group

So part of trying to educate myself with HIV and Medical Care has gotten me involved in a Support/Education Group for newly diagnosed people. Yesterday was the 2nd meeting. NOT GREAT! I am unsure if there is much I can gain from attending these meetings.

A "guest" speaker explained how the virus enters the body, how it replicates, how it works, how it dies, and you throw in a few PI's and NRTI's and NNRTI's here and there and talk about certain medications and blah blah blah....

I wanted to run out of there. One hour should not feel longer than an hour!! I wish all this information would have been explained in lay terms. I honestly walked out of there with nothing. That's the first encounter with some information being presented by someone that has been in the FACE of HIV for so long that they forgotten what it feels like when newly poz.

There are also introductions before the meeting gets started. Let me just say how surreal and how odd it feels to say "Hi, I'm positive as of December of 09." It just feels very odd. I am sure that I will get to the point where I'll be able to say it and not think much of it. Will I? Who knows! I was somewhat close to telling my mother about it. Let me tell you how quickly I backed out of that one. Today, right now, as I'm blogging, you ask me when I will tell her and my answer is never. After I'm done blogging you may ask me again and the answer may be different!!! It's constantly changing. I do feel guilty about not saying anything but I guess it's not as if I'm lying....

The other thing I'm learning is the whole Negative Vs. Clean.... People that are negative refer to themselves as clean instead of negative... I was guilty of that as well. Then you see these hook up profiles and guys stating they are DDF (Drug Disease Free) I wonder how many are positive and just don't know it. Thanks to Chguy78 for clarification on a Statistic I myself stated incorrectly.  40% of people that are actually HIV positive don't know it. 1 out of 4 people are poz but they never know because of not getting tested. Ummmm, I dont know if that's correct! That seems like an awful lot. I'll come back and vent some more later on.... It was a sleepless nite again. Wide awake by 2 am. Off and on from 3 to 6.30! I want to nap! :( I have a counseling appt at noon, that should go good I predict.


~ Ante